Old Friends New Friends

Ever since we moved to Houston, there has been something missing in my life.  When we lived in Denver, I became very close to someone like I never have before.  Tami wouldn't normally be okay with this type of relationship but for some reason, she felt like it was okay for me to be emotionally attached to her.  Every time we were together, it seemed everyone was happier.  Conversations were easy, friendships were made and everyone seemed very satisfied just being around her.  Even Tami wasn't concerned about the relationship because she benefited from it too. 

We have been in Houston for over a year and I haven't been able to replace my friend.  I thought I would be okay emotionally but for some reason, I haven't been able to get over her.  We tried to replace her but the spark just wasn't there.  We have been searching for quite some time and just yesterday, Tami finally consented to let me have her back.  I can't believe how good I feel.  This whole time, I thought it was just Houston and maybe we just didn't fit in here.  I now realize that I had a hole in my life that needed to be filled.

I know many of you reading this are thinking that this relationship is unhealthy for our marriage.  Maybe you just don't understand.  Tami can't fulfill all of my needs so I had to look elsewhere.  She bought me gas grills, she bought me charcoal grills.  We even tried cooking over an open fire.  It just wasn't the same.  She finally broke down and bought me another Traeger grill.  We used it tonight and I can finally say, "I'm back!!!!!  I'm a grillin' machine!!!"  In our neighborhood, it seems like there are a lot of old men with young wives.  I already have a young wife.  I just needed a younger grill with more options.  The new one has electric start and a thermostat controlled temperature.  Whenever I get bored with her, all I have to do is choose a new flavored pellet.  Just so you understand, I included a picture of me holding her for your enjoyment.   

Denial

As many of you know my Uncle passed away last week.  I've had a hard time knowing just how to grieve for this.  I haven't seen him for two years so not being able to see him isn't a new concept for me.  Everyone knows that to grieve is to feel pain so I've been avoiding facing the truth and trying to just consider things back 'home' the same as always.  So while in my denial I begin thinking of my Aunt, cousins, etc who don't have that option and think that somehow my survival technique is an unfair cop out to what their suffering through.  I was doing pretty well at being stoic until today when I read a poem that my cousin wrote in his honor:

A Poem for RJ

I'll never forget all those warm summer nights that followed the days of cold water fights.

Or the man at the center of every one, my dad's older brother, gramps oldest son.

you could see that big smile all over his face as his Harley pulled up to visit our place.

And it wasn't to long before he got hold of you and each of us knew what we had to do.

We cried,

Mercy mercy uncle J I think that's all I can handle today, I'll be ready for more when you come back again but until then I love you my friend.

I have never felt pain like I did on the day that I learned from my sister he had been taken away.

I fell to my knees and begged the lord please, don't let him be gone without one final tease.

I thought of my aunt and my cousins too, My heart swells with love and sorrow for you.

As we carried his body aloft in the air past the uniformed brothers and sister all there.

I thought of the times he held me in the air and tossed me higher than any would dare.

With a mind full of memories and soul of unrest I removed the flower that was pinned to my chest.

I placed it back on top of the box dyed tan, near the truest of banners "The most Wonderful Man"

And I cried,

Mercy mercy uncle J I think that's all I can handle today You'll be waiting for me when I come back again but until then I love you my friend.

~ Mark Walker~

I don't know what more I could add to express my sorrow for those of us left behind.  I know this poem was sent to me today to help me release the emotions I've been suppressing. Thanks, Mark.  I know RJ is in a better place.  He'll be sorely missed.  RJ, when it's my turn to die I fully expect you to be waiting there for me with a rib poking tickle to make me feel at home.

Rex J Walker 1951 ~ 2010 Rex J Walker, 58, of Pleasant Grove tragically passed away Thursday, May 20, 2010 from a fall while working at Timpanogos Cave. He died in the mountains where he loved to be. Rex was born May 30, 1951 in Coalville to Rex B and Margaret Stark Walker. He married Kathleen Hansen on August 7, 1970 and they were sealed for time and all eternity in the Manti Temple. Rex is survived by his wife Kathie of Pleasant Grove; four children: Jennifer (Mike) Bascom, Pleasant Grove; Lauresa (Brandon) Peterson, Grantsville; Jimmy Dan (Natalie) Walker, Monticello and Sherylen (Quin) Wilkerson, American Fork; 15 grandchildren; parents; siblings: Carolyn Winterton, Cheryl Hughett, Barry Walker, and Garry Walker.

Elias' Solo

"I work solo mio."  Anyone recognize that quote? It's from Cars.  Ever since Elias auditioned for and got a solo for this choir concert I've been saying it a lot.  We've been pretty nervous for him this week since he's been fighting off a cold.  We were all really hopeful that it would all clear up for tonight but on the way over to the school this evening he was blowing his nose like crazy to the point that both his ears plugged up.  When he told me they were blocked I said, "ut oh!". He didn't understand my concern.  I had to explain to him that if you can't hear you can't stay on key.  "Nuh uh, I'll be just fine laauuuaaauuuahh." OUCH!!  We spent the last few minutes before we walked in trying to get him to pop his ears... I was really nervous, him, not so much.  He gets up there and sings solos without even getting 'shaky voice'.  I did hear a bum note or two but according to him if you don't know the song you won't notice...hmmmm I guess that theory makes him feel good.  I'm really proud of him and glad that he's so confident!  So without further adieu, I now present to you Close Every Door from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat featuring Elias Zimmerman!

I'm Just Sayin'

Ever since we saw that GIANT wolf spider in the garage last fall we've had sticky traps set up near every door out there.  These particular traps have only been out for 2 weeks and are filling up quickly!  I occasionally take a peek to see what we've collected and found this pretty horned beetle today.  I googled it to find out about them and this was the number one article that came up...

"Beetles with the biggest horns have the smallest testes, say scientists who show that in evolutionary terms you can't have it all."

I thought that was pretty hilarious!!

Since I had my camera out Silas decided to pose.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers who are in prison right now.  This is what Silas brought into the bedroom this morning for Tami. (notice he chose the most coveted piece of bread that usually ends up in the garbage at our house)  He woke up at about 5:45 and got her warm water out of the tap and a piece of bread.  How can you not feel loved with something like this?  It truly is the thought that counts in this instance.  Since Tami isn't in prison, we decided to make her crepes with fruit and most importantly, whipped cream.

We had Stake conference today and we were trying to keep the kids quiet.  Silas was having a melt down and Tami leaned under the bench to ask him to pout quietly.  He said, "I'm mad at you.  You've never brought me breakfast in bed!!!"  I guess he can have bread and water tomorrow morning in bed.

Since it is Tami's day, she gets to choose everything.  We had 7 layer dip for an appetizer and then we made chicken fajitas for lunch.  We will follow that up with a tres leches cake.  Don't go thinking that we went over board on all the cooking and preparing.  Sam's club did most of it.  I guess Tami wanted to add a little Tex/Mex theme to Mother's day. 

The nice thing about Mother's day is that we really never have to get Tami any gifts.  She usually has them purchased weeks ahead.  She has always been an efficient gift buyer but at first I had a hard time with her buying the gifts for herself.  Now that we have been married awhile, I really appreciate it.  She gets what she wants and I don't have to shop.  That is what we call a win win.  I have to add that it is a win, win, win because Tami just told me that there is another win.  She doesn't have to pretend to like something that I got her.  Happy Mother's Day everyone!!! 

Pine Wood Derby Texas Style

I'm sure there are some Pine Wood derby fanatics in CO who would roll over and die to see a derby run this way! Isaac had a blast. There were no EXTRA rules taped to his box so Caleb helped Isaac do some of the tricks that he learned back in his derby days.  The boys were able to put their own cars on the track and pick them up at the end.  Isaac ended up with 3rd place.  Not too shabby considering we forgot to even start the car until 2 days before the race!

Eat My Words

Okay, I need to eat my words.  Tami is making me apologize to Elias.  I mean, I want to apologize to Elias.  He tried out this morning and got the part.  He will be singing, "Close Every Door" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  I'm assuming someone other than Elias and Tami actually now what that is.  The only reason they know is because of You Tube.  Oh yeah, this was supposed to be an apology.  Good job Elias.